No Goodbyes, Itamichi
by Guardian of the Nakano
Summary: "...not goodbye...see you later..."  Shisui drowns his internal sorrow in the river.  Itachi swallows his pride and lets his feelings show.  "What have you done to me, Shisui?" Is an appropriate term for this.  ShiIta  R&R  Sad themes, Shisuicide *Desu*


Horrible drabble that I threw together while listening to Adele's "Rolling in the Deep", thought of Shisui and Itachi, and was suddenly impassioned to write this. I had to complete it before 10:00 p.m. came around, because there is a comet coming soon, or something, meteor, whatever, and I need more inspiration for ShiIta. Please enjoy how horrible it is!

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><p>His fists clenched until they ached. The fingernails dug into the soft flesh of his palm, his body quaking in anger. He gritted his teeth against the painful facts that buffeted him like a sand storm. He found he could barely breathe in. This weighed on his chest, with a deadly intent to suffocate the love out of his mind, heart, soul, psychological makeup, genetic coding altogether. He was so mad, he could cry. Scream. Hurt someone. Hurt himself. Die. How could he do this? How could he just leave me behind like this? He was such a liar. He was a cruel, sick sadist who was probably laughing at him right now. Then, it occured to him! The freaking brat was a prankster! He was laughing! Right now, at his turmoil churning deep in his chest. He was asphyxiating from despair and distress because he wanted to play a prank! He turned to the calander. The day was marked April 31. Thirty days off of what he was silently pleading for. Then again, nothing really worked out for him that well. He laughed in disbelief. He burst into a despairing outroar of laughter, holding his sides, choking on disbelief and denial. He didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to even think it could be even relatively possible. With one final choke of laughter, he screamed. It erupted through the room, collapsing to his knees. He shook his head in a pitiable human function, shaking off the thought, as if the notion itself could make him come back. To walk in through the door again, lean against it nonchalantly, as if he hadn't just recieved the news, and nod carelessly with a smirk. "What's up?" he would say. "What's going on? Wanna talk?"<p>

"What's...up...? What's _up?_" he muttered. "I'll tell you what's UP! You left me here...ALL ALONE! I'M ALONE BECAUSE YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A ROTTEN LIAR! YOU LEFT ME HERE ALL ALONE! WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT PROMISE? ON THE BRIDGE? THE SAME ONE YOU JUST JUMPED OFF? YEAH, I'M _ALONE! A...again..._"

He couldn't help but think how perfect he really was...no matter what he did, no matter what he said...he was still incredibly and undeniably in love with him, no matter if he had just drowned his hopes and dreams in the bottom of the Nakano.

It was the one time he could feel perfect; flawless. Without him, he felt flawed and flightless. He wouldn't be able to move; to function.

Suddenly, he began to spasm violently, coughing until it made his throat raw, feel completely bare. He opened his eyes, his vision fogging and clearing, the reflection on his retinas from the suddenly blinding light like a glare on a television screen. This is what it was, wasn't it? Someone was up there, now. Watching him writhe and tremble with an unrequited love that he had to let go, or he would die on this floor now. He focused his sight and noticed that red, red blood stained the tatami, that he was literally killing himself over this. Then again, who's to say he wasn't already dead? Without Shisui, he was pretty much nothing. Their names even sounded perfect together! he noticed. Itachi and Shisui. Shisui and Itachi. No matter how you put it. No matter what context.

"Shisui and Itachi. They're in love."

"Shisui and Itachi. They hate eachother."

"They're nothing but trouble."

"They're perfect for eachother."

"They both succeeded the mission."

"They both went M.I.A..."

"They're both dead."

"Shisui's dead. Itachi's close enough behind."

He trembled as he fell to the ground. If anything, he Would. Not. Cry.

He felt ashamed that he had given in to his emotions in the first place. This was so unbecoming of a Shinobi! What had he trained for anyways? To break down like this? Over _love?_ HA! He was Uchiha Itachi. In case you haven't noticed, he doesn't have emotions. Ask anyone. He's a prodigy.

A cold-blooded killer.

He's the man who completed twenty-seven assassinations at thirteen!

He was a sociopath.

Unsociable.

A psychopath.

_But I was his psychopath. I was his cold-blooded killer. He was the only one I could talk to..._

Suddenly, laughter wracked his ribs.

"As if he doesn't know...what I'm capable of...I could tear myself apart limb from limb...completely apart...but there's a problem with that..."

He laughed a little more.

"He took my heart with him..."

Itachi trembled painfully once more, blood dripping out of the corner of his downturned mouth. His lips were a flushed scarlet, his face pale as a sheet. Pale as the water in the Nakano. It flowed on, though. His body didn't even really make it to the water. Blunt-force trauma put him in shock, and he drowned silently.

He groaned as a pain shocked his eyes. He could feel the pupil contort, the iris turning. His vision melted into a kaleidoscope of blood and tears, of dizzy emotions.

He realised he had gotten too caught up in what they called love. He had submerged himself in selfish emotions of need and want, of one person alone.

He realized he was being very selfish...he had always known it...

He always knew how depressed Shisui was on the inside.

As an only child, he turned to Itachi as the younger brother he had always wanted. Shisui focused all the love he had to give, all the protection he offered, all the affection he wanted to give to Itachi. He was Shisui's heart itself.

Shisui was orphaned. His mother and father were gone. He lived in that house alone. Nobody to return to, ever.

Sure, Itachi came over often, but he could never stay there forever, and that made Shisui all the more lonely.

Itachi always saw how he would rake his hands through his messy hair and let out a long, solemn sigh, eyes downcast when he thought Itachi wasn't looking.

Itachi thought, maybe I wasn't enough?

But knew, Shisui was the one who wasn't enough.

Shisui was strong. Very strong. Physically, he could take down hundreds of enemies before he would give out. He was incredibly intelligent, painfully so. He would think until his mind rotted, metaphorically. He wouldn't be able to think straight for a while after that.

But emotionally...Shisui was always a wreck. He thought himself weak every single day. He felt helpless, like he couldn't protect Itachi.

Fugaku was abusive, incredibly so. He beat Itachi across the back with a lead pipe for God's sake!

Itachi was too strong. He would be broken before his time.

And that was the real reason Shisui did it.

Itachi lie on the floor, curled into a ball, eyes closed tight. He could practically hear Shisui explain it to him. He didn't want him to worry...

_Yeah, I know, I must suck, huh? Heh...I'm weak. I'm spineless-almost literally-but you be strong, you hear?_

_Just because I did it...I'm a total hypocrite. _

_I'm a bad influence on you, Itachi. You need to stay strong. You need to endure. You're meant for something great. I'm meant to rot in this river._

_Remember? Right above here...the bridge? You and I. Every day, we would meet. _

_Such bittersweet memories..._

_But I did it...because I didn't want to see you cut down before your time._

_I didn't want to watch you die, Itachi, I couldn'!_

_I would've lost it. I would've asked him to kill me, too._

_But I know you. You won't kill yourself. You said so, because of Sasuke._

_You're his older brother. He adores you._

_You're too much, Itachi. Cold as ice, beautiful as a glacier. _

_I love you. I love you, I love you, I love yo-_

"Oh, shut up..." Itachi chuckled quietly.

_Good point..._

_Well, this is it, then, Itachi..._

"Yeah...it is..."

_Use that newfound Sharingan well. It's costly, but you can do anything you put your mind to, Itamichi._

He choked on a sob at his nickname. It was painful to hear him in his head.

_I do love you, Itachi. Too much. _

"...I love you, too, Shisui..." he whispered, his eyes burning horribly.

_Yeah...I'm sorry, Itachi...this is it..._

_Goodbye..._

"...not goodbye...see you later..." Itachi smiled.

_Yeah...! Yeah...I'll see you later, Itamichi. Don't go getting all choked up...you're gonna make me cry. This Nakano's full enough. It doesn't need any more..._

"...later..." Itachi curled up tighter, clutched his sides, and began to cry.

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><p>AN: Yeah...hopefully the one with the meteor will be better? It might be called Meteor Shower...not sure...anyways, tell me what you think! I love any and all comments, especially about how horrible this was. Hope you enjoyed it in the least? R&R!


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